When is "good enough" enough?
Daily we're inundated with perfect ideas of how each of us should be:
how to be the perfect housewife, the perfect lover, the perfect mother, the perfect outfit, haircut, DIY do-er, baker, cook, nail technician, up-cycler, seamstress.
There is even a list of perfect things we should have:
shoes, shade of lipstick, car, dog, diaper bag, car seat, stroller, coffee.
Our society if full of "perfectionists," myself included.
And, if you're anything like me, you only see how you're failing miserably those perfect standards. Every day I feel like I'm drowning, barely treading water, in an effort to be perfect. The perfect wife, the perfect mom, perfect friend, perfect hair and skin, even the perfect workout.
Let's get one thing clear: I am momma to a 2-yr-old (which in itself equals tantrum throwing, busy bodied, mess-making, loud and sometimes angry, adorable monster) and a very high needs, high maintenance almost one year old.
So what does this mean? It means for every mess picked up, one twice its size appears in its place without delay. All day long small people are hanging on me and climbing me for sport. They follow me around all day long and I'm never ever alone. All my food is shared and most days, my toddler TD logs more iPhone time than I do.
My house is endlessly and always a disaster, not dirty, just cluttered and toy piled. My kids often have dirty hands and faces. I'm stressed and frazzled and probably won't get a shower until my kids are in bed. Unless, of course, I got a run and shower in before Husband left for work at 6:15 this morning... which is highly unlikely.
Some days are okay, but most this constant struggle for perfection leaves me utterly exhausted emotionally and physically, feeling like I've been treading water, from sun up to sun down, just trying to find a little ray of sunshine. I know something good happens every day but most days, after the kids have gone to bed and Husband asks me about my day, I can't seem to remember them.
Sadly, when you can't ever seem to remember the good times and giggles, it's difficult to like yourself. When you constantly feel as though you're falling short at every measure.
As mothers, I think this is something we all struggle with at some point or another, especially in our early days. But what do we do about it? How do we find the balance between "good enough" and "perfection?"
I hope some of you know, because I still haven't figured it out.
**Disclaimer: Anonymous comments will not be published. I'd love to hear from YOU not "Anonymous" :)
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Running
Running used to be my solace. I was good at running. And, more importantly, I LOVED it. We were besties.
Fast forward a few years, a couple of kids, an injury or too, and I still love running. Only now, running doesn't love me so much anymore. Now, running is hard.
No matter how awful things seemed, when the world was crashing down around me, I could run. For miles and miles.
Now I have a new challenge: when my tank is on empty emotionally, running hurts. And oddly, running is now often tear inducing. But not just sprinkles, SOBS. It's rather difficult to run very far or very fast when you've been sobbing and as I'm currently training for my first half marathon, this is kind of a problem.
I still feel some relief when I'm finished but it seems to take a lot more energy to rid myself of the emotional baggage than it used to and I am rarely left feeling refreshed.
Maybe the problem is that these trials, although much different, feel similar in weight to those I was dealing with 8 and 9 years ago. The weight on my chest that makes it hard to take a deep breath is back. I think sometimes in life we sort of loose our footing. Our faith isn't lost, we know its there even if it's momentarily dimmed, its just that for whatever reason the ground feels a little shaky and unstable for a little while and the sky seems to be fading behind the shadows cast by our obstacles. We can't quite feel the full power of our faith within ourselves.
So, for a little while we lean on the faith of someone close to use. It's amazing the strength and support we can draw from the faith of another. What a tender mercy to have someone placed in our path to hold our hand and say "it's ok, we can run slow for a while." And, in some crucial moments, "Let's walk. As long as we get our miles in, its ok if it takes a while. The speed and strength will come as long as we keep putting one foot in front of the other"
I guess it's ok if I go slow for awhile and I'm sure soon enough I won't cry so much. I will probably never get back to where I used to be but that's ok because different can be good and, really, we should probably just be moving forward anyway. I can be better than I used to be.
**Disclaimer: Anonymous comments will not be published. I'd love to hear from YOU not "Anonymous" :)
Fast forward a few years, a couple of kids, an injury or too, and I still love running. Only now, running doesn't love me so much anymore. Now, running is hard.
No matter how awful things seemed, when the world was crashing down around me, I could run. For miles and miles.
Now I have a new challenge: when my tank is on empty emotionally, running hurts. And oddly, running is now often tear inducing. But not just sprinkles, SOBS. It's rather difficult to run very far or very fast when you've been sobbing and as I'm currently training for my first half marathon, this is kind of a problem.
I still feel some relief when I'm finished but it seems to take a lot more energy to rid myself of the emotional baggage than it used to and I am rarely left feeling refreshed.
Maybe the problem is that these trials, although much different, feel similar in weight to those I was dealing with 8 and 9 years ago. The weight on my chest that makes it hard to take a deep breath is back. I think sometimes in life we sort of loose our footing. Our faith isn't lost, we know its there even if it's momentarily dimmed, its just that for whatever reason the ground feels a little shaky and unstable for a little while and the sky seems to be fading behind the shadows cast by our obstacles. We can't quite feel the full power of our faith within ourselves.
So, for a little while we lean on the faith of someone close to use. It's amazing the strength and support we can draw from the faith of another. What a tender mercy to have someone placed in our path to hold our hand and say "it's ok, we can run slow for a while." And, in some crucial moments, "Let's walk. As long as we get our miles in, its ok if it takes a while. The speed and strength will come as long as we keep putting one foot in front of the other"
I guess it's ok if I go slow for awhile and I'm sure soon enough I won't cry so much. I will probably never get back to where I used to be but that's ok because different can be good and, really, we should probably just be moving forward anyway. I can be better than I used to be.
**Disclaimer: Anonymous comments will not be published. I'd love to hear from YOU not "Anonymous" :)
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Change is in the wind....
I'm going to start out with honesty. Because that's what I do here: raw, unedited, naked truth.
So I took a little break recently, from blogging, crafting, socializing, from basically every thing. Why? Because I suffer from post partum depression (PPD). Its devestating, debilitating, and there is nothing cute or romantic about it. The hardest part? We've been here before. I've walked these steps before. PPD strips you down to the bare bones of your exsistence; any symbolance of good mental health or normalcy you had goes completely away and all that's left is BROKEN. For a while, I thought I was ok; I thought I had everything under control. As it turns out, I was wrong.
So now, Zoloft and I are becoming good friends. I see a post partum specialist. And that's a major difference this time around, its easier to heal when working with someone who actually knows what they're doing. She tells me its ok, I did not cause this, there is nothing I could have done to prevent it, and most importantly, I will survive this. This coming week, I plan to start attending a post partum support group. I also get to have some fancy-smancy blood work done because I may have a sleepy adrenal gland which can worsen any PPD symptoms.
Every day is hard. But I'm trying. That's a lot to ask sometimes.
**Disclaimer: Anonymous comments will not be published. I'd love to hear from YOU not "Anonymous" :)
So I took a little break recently, from blogging, crafting, socializing, from basically every thing. Why? Because I suffer from post partum depression (PPD). Its devestating, debilitating, and there is nothing cute or romantic about it. The hardest part? We've been here before. I've walked these steps before. PPD strips you down to the bare bones of your exsistence; any symbolance of good mental health or normalcy you had goes completely away and all that's left is BROKEN. For a while, I thought I was ok; I thought I had everything under control. As it turns out, I was wrong.
So now, Zoloft and I are becoming good friends. I see a post partum specialist. And that's a major difference this time around, its easier to heal when working with someone who actually knows what they're doing. She tells me its ok, I did not cause this, there is nothing I could have done to prevent it, and most importantly, I will survive this. This coming week, I plan to start attending a post partum support group. I also get to have some fancy-smancy blood work done because I may have a sleepy adrenal gland which can worsen any PPD symptoms.
Every day is hard. But I'm trying. That's a lot to ask sometimes.
**Disclaimer: Anonymous comments will not be published. I'd love to hear from YOU not "Anonymous" :)
Sunday, April 15, 2012
garden's a growin'
Well, its been a couple of weeks and things are definitely looking good. I've learned a few lessons the hard way though, next year I'll do better:
> cage of trellis plants from their infancy, not after they're already beginning to take over your garden
> Squash (crookneck and zucchini) can be grown in tomato cages but its hard. next year I think I'll try making a chicken wire trellis instead.
> because I was not so good at teaching my plants to grow up this year, my zucchini squash may have stunted the growth of my garlic. More on this at harvest time.
In their place, I planted two New Mexico Hatch chilies (the only difference between New Mexico Hatch chilies and Anaheim chilies is where they were seeded; both make delish salsa among other things).
Please disregard the adorable toddler taking a water break next to the garden. :)
I remembered to cage these two immediately. I also grabbed a couple of sticks out of the yard waste bin and used soft twine to tie the plants to them. I'm planning to watch how they grow and may switch to a different trellis system if they get too tall and sprawling like the squash.
And so the growing continues :)
**Disclaimer: Anonymous comments will not be published. I'd love to hear from YOU not "Anonymous" :)
> cage of trellis plants from their infancy, not after they're already beginning to take over your garden
> Squash (crookneck and zucchini) can be grown in tomato cages but its hard. next year I think I'll try making a chicken wire trellis instead.
> because I was not so good at teaching my plants to grow up this year, my zucchini squash may have stunted the growth of my garlic. More on this at harvest time.
I harvested my first crop of cilantro!! SOOO yummy!
I also planted a second cilantro plant so that hopefully I'll always have fresh cilantro :)
The best way to get large onions is to cut the stem that grows above ground down every 4-6 weeks. As you can see, it's nearly time to do this again. (I planted 2 squares of sweet red onions at 9 onions per square)
My strawberry plants were getting a bit too much sun so I transplanted them into pots. I'm hopeful they'll survive to be fruit bearing this summer :)In their place, I planted two New Mexico Hatch chilies (the only difference between New Mexico Hatch chilies and Anaheim chilies is where they were seeded; both make delish salsa among other things).
And so the growing continues :)
**Disclaimer: Anonymous comments will not be published. I'd love to hear from YOU not "Anonymous" :)
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Square Foot Saturdays
I'm starting a new **hopefully** weekly feature: Square foot Saturdays!
Each Saturday, I'll post about how our newly planted square foot garden is going. I purchased The All New Square Foot Gardening By Mel Bartholomew. The premise of square foot gardening is that your grow more in less space, up not out. You can also find some cool stuff on his website but, well, since I'm a rebel I had to break a few rules and do things my own way a bit.
SO I had this shabby old, empty concrete planter in our backyard. It happens to be 2 feet by 12 feet and while more square foot gardens are 4x4, I (with the help of my dad) built this 2 foot x 6 foot wooden frame using 2x12x1 boards. My sweet husband dug the rotten dirt out about 6 inches down and drove these old picket fence stakes (YAY for recycling!!) into the ground. Then we (he) screwed the frame into the stakes.
Here you can see the weed barrier that we put down and brought up the sides of the frame. this will prevent any thing from growing up from underneath our garden. ...Please disregard the cute Betsy dog with her rear in the air.
You can also see the 12 cubic feet of soil we used: 3 bags of "Mel's Mix" aka: 5 kinds of compost in one bag, one bag of organic miracle grow peet moss, one organic miracle grow vegetable garden soil, and one bag of miracle grow vegetable garden moisture control soil. The point of mixing the 5 kinds of compost, peet moss, and regular garden soil is to provide a very nutrient rich foundation for our vegetables.
We used a planting guide specific to our county to pick what vegetables to plant at what time and also spent a fair amount of time talking with the owner of Treeland Nursery who was most helpful.
Since we have 12 one-foot squares, we chose to start with garlic, cilantro, 2 squares of onions, 2 varieties of strawberries, zucchini squash, summer squash, and tomatoes. This leaves us 3 empty squares to plant more things as the seasons progress.
Here you can see (starting top left) zucchini-planted one per square, 3 empty squares, strawberry-also one per square, onion-9 per square, strawberry, and onion.
Here is (starting top left) tomato (we chose a medium sized summer hybrid)-one per square, Cilantro (cilantro is planted 4 per square but since it matures so quickly we left room to add one per month for the next 3 months so that we'll always have fresh cilantro), crookneck summer squash-one per square, garlic-2 per square, and the zucchini squash shown in the picture above.
We are SOOOO very excited to have fresh veggies to eat that we no longer have to purchase! YAY!
Once its time to turn the AC back on - puh-leeease not too soon! - we'll be creating a filtration system so we can use the runoff to water our garden instead of the hose. Details on that will come later. :)
We will also be building a system to help our tomato, squash, and strawberry plants grow UP not out in the near future.
Hopefully the garlic will keep the bugs away but if not, we may plant marigolds in with the cilantro at the east end of the garden and in one of our empty squares in the middle.
Square foot gardens are great for small areas, even apartment patios. They require less maintenance that traditional gardens because of less weeding and you should be able to reach all areas without ever stepping in your garden. Part of the success of square foot gardening is continual crop rotation so that the soil remains healthy and you always have something fresh to harvest.
Here's one last pic to help you get inspired! YUM!
**Disclaimer: Anonymous comments will not be published. I'd love to hear from YOU not "Anonymous" :)
GET EXCITED.
Each Saturday, I'll post about how our newly planted square foot garden is going. I purchased The All New Square Foot Gardening By Mel Bartholomew. The premise of square foot gardening is that your grow more in less space, up not out. You can also find some cool stuff on his website but, well, since I'm a rebel I had to break a few rules and do things my own way a bit.
Here you can see the weed barrier that we put down and brought up the sides of the frame. this will prevent any thing from growing up from underneath our garden. ...Please disregard the cute Betsy dog with her rear in the air.
You can also see the 12 cubic feet of soil we used: 3 bags of "Mel's Mix" aka: 5 kinds of compost in one bag, one bag of organic miracle grow peet moss, one organic miracle grow vegetable garden soil, and one bag of miracle grow vegetable garden moisture control soil. The point of mixing the 5 kinds of compost, peet moss, and regular garden soil is to provide a very nutrient rich foundation for our vegetables.
We used a planting guide specific to our county to pick what vegetables to plant at what time and also spent a fair amount of time talking with the owner of Treeland Nursery who was most helpful.
Since we have 12 one-foot squares, we chose to start with garlic, cilantro, 2 squares of onions, 2 varieties of strawberries, zucchini squash, summer squash, and tomatoes. This leaves us 3 empty squares to plant more things as the seasons progress.
We are SOOOO very excited to have fresh veggies to eat that we no longer have to purchase! YAY!
Once its time to turn the AC back on - puh-leeease not too soon! - we'll be creating a filtration system so we can use the runoff to water our garden instead of the hose. Details on that will come later. :)
We will also be building a system to help our tomato, squash, and strawberry plants grow UP not out in the near future.
Hopefully the garlic will keep the bugs away but if not, we may plant marigolds in with the cilantro at the east end of the garden and in one of our empty squares in the middle.
Square foot gardens are great for small areas, even apartment patios. They require less maintenance that traditional gardens because of less weeding and you should be able to reach all areas without ever stepping in your garden. Part of the success of square foot gardening is continual crop rotation so that the soil remains healthy and you always have something fresh to harvest.
**Disclaimer: Anonymous comments will not be published. I'd love to hear from YOU not "Anonymous" :)
Monday, January 16, 2012
Peacock Wreath
I'm taking a cue from Marni over at Sassy Sites and doing a "Made by Me Monday" :)
I found a gorgeous peacock inspired wreath on Pinterest and had to make one myself. I added a few personal touches to spice it up and bit and LOVE how it came out!!
**Disclaimer: Anonymous comments will not be published. I'd love to hear from YOU not "Anonymous" :)
I found a gorgeous peacock inspired wreath on Pinterest and had to make one myself. I added a few personal touches to spice it up and bit and LOVE how it came out!!
**Disclaimer: Anonymous comments will not be published. I'd love to hear from YOU not "Anonymous" :)
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Little Miss
I was release to begin rehab on my shoulder just 4 weeks before my due date when I should have had 12 weeks but it would have to be good enough because Little Miss came early!
And here's all the gory details:
I started having contractions every 10 mins on Friday, Oct 28 in the evening. Of course, knowing better than getting my hopes up, we went to bed and went about our weekend plans. Saturday was Hub's company picinic and LOTS of walking. The contractions got closer for several hours and then settled back into the every 10 minute pattern. :((
Monday was Halloween. I went to therapy and did as much as a huge contracting momma with a messed up shoulder can. TD and I went to my parents' ward party and trunk or treat. At this point I was having contractions about every 5 minutes so I put our sitters on high alert. After we got home and settled into bed, the contractions fizzled out and back to every 8 minutes. SO disappointed!
Tuesday was better... that is if pain = better.
After dinner, my contractions had been about every 3-4 minutes for 3 hours so we decided to go in and get checked. I was dialated 3 cm and after an hour of walking in the beautiful Banner Gateway Maternity garden, the contractions had stalled back out to every 8 minutes and I had made no progress. Very sad and a little angry, we went home.
Wednesday and Thursday I had steady contractions every 8 minutes. UGH!
Thursday afternoon, we saw the OB. STILL only 3 cm.
Thursday night around 10, I got a sign that active labor was on its way: lost my plug and the contractions started getting stronger but not much closer together. I went to bed hoping to be woke up in the night ready to have a baby!
Friday morning, I got up and went to my last scheduled PT appointment. When I arrived, my contractions were every 6 minutes and strong. As I went through my exercises and manipulation, they got stronger and up to every 3 minutes. I drove myself home, went for a long walk with TD and hubby, showered and napped. Sadly, they were back to every 8 minutes. I was beginning to feel like she was NEVER going to leave my body! So, I send hubby to work and went about my day. I did laudry and dishes and played with TD on the floor a lot so I could squat.
By 4, I was having a hard time breathing through my contractions so I called TD's Mamacita (my wonderful mother) to come help with his dinner and all that jazz. She brought dinner and fed us both. She did the dishes, helped me put away laundry and rubbed my back.
At 5:30, I knew it was time for hubby to come home because I was feeling the need for pain meds!
We arrived at triage around 6:45pm sure I'd made some progress for all the hard work I'd been doing over the last 20 hours. I wanted to stab someone when the said I was STILL only 3 cm! The triage nurse kindly informed me that I had 1 hour to make some progess or I'd be going home regardless of my pain level.
After 45 minutes, she came in to check me because my contractions were showing long and clusters on her monitor. Thankfully I was at 6.5 cm in just that short time! We were going to have a baby very soon!! Oh, and PLEASE get the epidural ready!!
Unfortunately, there was no bed available for me for about 30 minutes but thankfully Christina, my labor and delivery nurse had paged the nurse anesthetist and he was waiting for me!
At nearly 10pm, Christina checked me and I had made NO progress. And, Little Miss was not only facing the wrong way, but not dropping down into position. .... As if this princess hadn't put me through enough already. Awesome. At least with the epidural in, I could rest.
Around 2am, Christina came into mess with my IV some more and I was barely 7 cm. My doc decided to start pitocin and I figured after 8 day of contractions and 26 hours of hard labor, it was probably a good call. Due to my shoulder, I couldn't do a lot of the position changes that help babies turn over so we just had to hope for the best.
At 5:12 Christina came in to hang another dose of penicillin (I'm GBS positive) and was going to check me "in about 20 minutes" and as she stood there messing with the machine my water broke with a huge and audible gush. SOO much fluid, had to change my gown and all the bed linens. She checked me as soon as it broke and I was 9cm and fully effaced but Little Miss was STILL not engaged in the birth canal. :((
By the time we got all the linens changed (about 20 minutes) I was feeling ready to push. So, she checked me again and I was 10cm. She told the baby nurse to make sure they'd called my doc and she decided to have me do the "test push" ya know, where they decide how fast they think you're gonna go. After about 1 second of that she was practically screaming at me to stop pushing and telling them he'd better get there NOW.
We waited about 15 minutes and as he was walking in, I told him "I need to push RIGHT NOW. I can't not push any longer" He was gowning up so said to go ahead. I started to push as he turned to face me. He stuck out his hands, said, "ok WOW, you werent kidding" and literally caught her as she popped out.
Because she waited until the absolute last possible second to turn around and engage, she came out the a beautiful, perfectly round, unbruised head. And she is DELISH!
Apparently, I had a surprisingly large amount of fluid because EVERYONE commented on how much came out with her. I soaked the gown, all the bed linens, the floor, and the Doc enough he had to go change his scrubs before the next delivery! (HEHE, that's what he gets for making me wait for HIM instead of him being on our schedule!) I'm guessing that's why she seemed to not be affected at all when I fell on her 7 weeks ago. And we thought she was gonna be a lot bigger because of how my belly looked and felt but it turned out to be all the fluid.
It's funny because everyone keeps telling us how big she is but I feel like she's tiny because TD was a whole lbs heavier, 2.5 inches taller, and his head was 3 inches bigger too. Her's is only 11inches. I'm also very happy to report that after a bit of whinning and complaining on my part, they discharged us only 30 hours after delivery instead of the typical 48-72!
Little Miss has such a sweet disposition and is fitting into our little family perfectly! TD adores her... sometimes he loves her a little harder than she'd like! :)
**Disclaimer: Anonymous comments will not be published. I'd love to hear from YOU not "Anonymous" :)
And here's all the gory details:
I started having contractions every 10 mins on Friday, Oct 28 in the evening. Of course, knowing better than getting my hopes up, we went to bed and went about our weekend plans. Saturday was Hub's company picinic and LOTS of walking. The contractions got closer for several hours and then settled back into the every 10 minute pattern. :((
Monday was Halloween. I went to therapy and did as much as a huge contracting momma with a messed up shoulder can. TD and I went to my parents' ward party and trunk or treat. At this point I was having contractions about every 5 minutes so I put our sitters on high alert. After we got home and settled into bed, the contractions fizzled out and back to every 8 minutes. SO disappointed!
Tuesday was better... that is if pain = better.
After dinner, my contractions had been about every 3-4 minutes for 3 hours so we decided to go in and get checked. I was dialated 3 cm and after an hour of walking in the beautiful Banner Gateway Maternity garden, the contractions had stalled back out to every 8 minutes and I had made no progress. Very sad and a little angry, we went home.
Wednesday and Thursday I had steady contractions every 8 minutes. UGH!
Thursday afternoon, we saw the OB. STILL only 3 cm.
Thursday night around 10, I got a sign that active labor was on its way: lost my plug and the contractions started getting stronger but not much closer together. I went to bed hoping to be woke up in the night ready to have a baby!
Friday morning, I got up and went to my last scheduled PT appointment. When I arrived, my contractions were every 6 minutes and strong. As I went through my exercises and manipulation, they got stronger and up to every 3 minutes. I drove myself home, went for a long walk with TD and hubby, showered and napped. Sadly, they were back to every 8 minutes. I was beginning to feel like she was NEVER going to leave my body! So, I send hubby to work and went about my day. I did laudry and dishes and played with TD on the floor a lot so I could squat.
By 4, I was having a hard time breathing through my contractions so I called TD's Mamacita (my wonderful mother) to come help with his dinner and all that jazz. She brought dinner and fed us both. She did the dishes, helped me put away laundry and rubbed my back.
At 5:30, I knew it was time for hubby to come home because I was feeling the need for pain meds!
We arrived at triage around 6:45pm sure I'd made some progress for all the hard work I'd been doing over the last 20 hours. I wanted to stab someone when the said I was STILL only 3 cm! The triage nurse kindly informed me that I had 1 hour to make some progess or I'd be going home regardless of my pain level.
After 45 minutes, she came in to check me because my contractions were showing long and clusters on her monitor. Thankfully I was at 6.5 cm in just that short time! We were going to have a baby very soon!! Oh, and PLEASE get the epidural ready!!
Unfortunately, there was no bed available for me for about 30 minutes but thankfully Christina, my labor and delivery nurse had paged the nurse anesthetist and he was waiting for me!
At nearly 10pm, Christina checked me and I had made NO progress. And, Little Miss was not only facing the wrong way, but not dropping down into position. .... As if this princess hadn't put me through enough already. Awesome. At least with the epidural in, I could rest.
Around 2am, Christina came into mess with my IV some more and I was barely 7 cm. My doc decided to start pitocin and I figured after 8 day of contractions and 26 hours of hard labor, it was probably a good call. Due to my shoulder, I couldn't do a lot of the position changes that help babies turn over so we just had to hope for the best.
At 5:12 Christina came in to hang another dose of penicillin (I'm GBS positive) and was going to check me "in about 20 minutes" and as she stood there messing with the machine my water broke with a huge and audible gush. SOO much fluid, had to change my gown and all the bed linens. She checked me as soon as it broke and I was 9cm and fully effaced but Little Miss was STILL not engaged in the birth canal. :((
By the time we got all the linens changed (about 20 minutes) I was feeling ready to push. So, she checked me again and I was 10cm. She told the baby nurse to make sure they'd called my doc and she decided to have me do the "test push" ya know, where they decide how fast they think you're gonna go. After about 1 second of that she was practically screaming at me to stop pushing and telling them he'd better get there NOW.
We waited about 15 minutes and as he was walking in, I told him "I need to push RIGHT NOW. I can't not push any longer" He was gowning up so said to go ahead. I started to push as he turned to face me. He stuck out his hands, said, "ok WOW, you werent kidding" and literally caught her as she popped out.
Little Miss
11.5.11 6:08am
8lbs 2oz 21inches
Because she waited until the absolute last possible second to turn around and engage, she came out the a beautiful, perfectly round, unbruised head. And she is DELISH!
Apparently, I had a surprisingly large amount of fluid because EVERYONE commented on how much came out with her. I soaked the gown, all the bed linens, the floor, and the Doc enough he had to go change his scrubs before the next delivery! (HEHE, that's what he gets for making me wait for HIM instead of him being on our schedule!) I'm guessing that's why she seemed to not be affected at all when I fell on her 7 weeks ago. And we thought she was gonna be a lot bigger because of how my belly looked and felt but it turned out to be all the fluid.
It's funny because everyone keeps telling us how big she is but I feel like she's tiny because TD was a whole lbs heavier, 2.5 inches taller, and his head was 3 inches bigger too. Her's is only 11inches. I'm also very happy to report that after a bit of whinning and complaining on my part, they discharged us only 30 hours after delivery instead of the typical 48-72!
**Disclaimer: Anonymous comments will not be published. I'd love to hear from YOU not "Anonymous" :)
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