I'm going to start out with honesty. Because that's what I do here: raw, unedited, naked truth.
So I took a little break recently, from blogging, crafting, socializing, from basically every thing. Why? Because I suffer from post partum depression (PPD). Its devestating, debilitating, and there is nothing cute or romantic about it. The hardest part? We've been here before. I've walked these steps before. PPD strips you down to the bare bones of your exsistence; any symbolance of good mental health or normalcy you had goes completely away and all that's left is BROKEN. For a while, I thought I was ok; I thought I had everything under control. As it turns out, I was wrong.
So now, Zoloft and I are becoming good friends. I see a post partum specialist. And that's a major difference this time around, its easier to heal when working with someone who actually knows what they're doing. She tells me its ok, I did not cause this, there is nothing I could have done to prevent it, and most importantly, I will survive this. This coming week, I plan to start attending a post partum support group. I also get to have some fancy-smancy blood work done because I may have a sleepy adrenal gland which can worsen any PPD symptoms.
Every day is hard. But I'm trying. That's a lot to ask sometimes.
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