The Battle

I may have mentioned this a time or two before, but I've got an incredibly strong willed 2yr old, even for a 2 yr old he's strong-willed.

Naps recently ended, which is more than a little heart breaking for me; Momma needs her afternoon nap.

Last night, we struggled several times with our TD Monster for sleep, but each time sleep won out.

This morning, he awoke not only exhausted, but also barking. Oh, the curse of the barking cough! How we loath it!

There were water works and tantrums from the very moment the sun rose... the toddler Monster cried some too.

And thus began

The Battle of the Cranky Croup Monster.

It was hard fought; both sides were fearless and at times teary-eyed. Occasionally the Snot-Nosed Princess joined the ranks, but alas, she has been known to change sides as the tides turn.

The volley was endless and the destruction was great. Oatmeal on the floor; crackers in the hair. Time outs were had, calm down corners aplenty. Toys littered the playroom. er.... Battlefield! Momma's wits were coming to an end. SOS texts were sent to Husband and loved ones but no help arrived.

Books were read and thrown; Bribes offered and denied. And the Children's Benadryl was no-where to be found.

The Snot-Nosed Princess was sequestered. The Pooch was banished to the yard. Momma downed some liquid courage in the form of Diet Mountain Dew. Slowly the Battle moved down to the hall and into the Cranky Croup Monster's Lair.

Woefully the Battle did not wain and Momma was discouraged. There was wrestling and retreating as the Battle escalated to its peak. Momma began to think all lost and prepared to concede defeat. But then, she caught just the smallest glimmer of hope. Could it be?!? Could a triumphant end truly be in sight? She daren't anticipate an easy finish for there was much fight left in the Monster still, but with a sliver of hope, Momma mustered all shreds of strength from every corner of her being.

As the final struggle played out, Momma watched triumphantly as the beast slipped off into a peaceful spring slumber.

And so The Battle of the Cranky Croup Monster, hard fought by all, was won and Momma wistfully closed the door on the resting Monster to sneak off for a sandwich and a nap.

Made By Me Monday

I found an adorable pattern for a bubble romper on Etsy and made it for my Princess to wear in her Valentine Mini session with Jax of Jacquilyn Avery Photography  She does fantastic work and you should follow her on facebook. :)

Here's the result (it's pretty amazing if you ask me!):

You see, I like to knock things out in one quick sitting and frequently cut corners... and procrastinate.  With this one, I probably should have paid a bit more attention to detail. In any case, it came out alright and photographed well. :)

 

I made TD a pocket square out of left over ruffle material from Princess's romper so they matched! He's at the age where asking for a picture is difficult at best, so I'm truly amazed Jax was able to come up with anything let alone four great pics. Here's two.  

 

Happy Valentine's Day from the Domesticated Monsters

 

rough start

2013 is off to a rough start for us.

We've lost a couple of really awesome Uncles. Both had been ill and in pain for some time so there is peace in their passing, the pain is removed. There's also pain. We who are left behind feel pain for the time we must go on without them. It seems long for us but for them, in a beautiful place with our Savior, it is but short.

The last 5 or 6 weeks everyone has been sick at least one but most 2 or more times. I haven't slept more than 3 hours at once since mid December and I literally can't remember the last time I slept 6 straight hours aside from the 2 nights we spent sans niños in Vegas earlier this month. My kids sleep even worse when we're away from home as we have been for funerals.

Being a mom is really tough. Being a sleep deprived mom who suffers from postpartum depression is even tougher. I've not been shy about my struggles but I've not come right out about some of my feelings toward my children.

I love and adore my children, but sometimes I don't LIKE them very much. I have moments of what I like to call "momma rage." Some days they try me to my wits' end and destroy whatever shred of patience I may have once had. I start to feel like I'm not cut out for this job, the most important job I'll ever hold, with the most lasting, eternal consequences.

My fears get the better of me. What if I end up utterly destroying my children the way that my childhood destroyed me? What if I give them cause to question their value and self worth and leave unable to trust in virtually every relationship they have for the rest of their lives? It's easy for me to lay blame for perceived shortcoming on my father and my upbringing. It's easy for me allow the fear to take over.

But, as wise men say, where fear resides faith cannot exist. How can I have faith in the plan for me and my own abilities and strengths if I allow fear to over shadow and over power my life?

I need to have faith in my Heavenly Father. I need to have faith in MYSELF and in my eternal companion. Some how I have to try each moment of every day to let go of those things that have left deep scars invisible to the eye. Letting go is the greatest challenge of my life and a battle I will fight each and every day.

In an effort to maintain my perspective, I've begun writing a journal to each of my monsters. First, I wrote out their birth story for them to hear from my perspective. Every day I try to write down one thing I love about them and one funny/happy thing that happened that day. So far, it's helping but we'll see if I remember to keep writing.

I've never been much good at journaling and my blogging habits are sporadic at best. I'll keep trying, each day to do better than I did yesterday.

So that where I'm at right now.