Maybe it's time to move on

Lately, I've been re-watching one of my favorite series on Netflix. I was struck by a particular line, and it's odd how it hit me, because although it was about pain and sadness, the context in which it was spoken wasn't my particular brand of sorrow.

My life has been one of great pain and sorrow. I've been through a lot and hurt a LOT. I wasn't even thinking about my wounds at the moment that this was spoken, but somehow it struck me to the core:

 

"Maybe it's time to move on."

 

 

WOW. How profound. And yet, so simple. "Maybe it's time to move on."

 

So I pondered on that for several minutes. And then the Princess woke up from her nap.

 

I continued on with my morning, watching as I nursed and played with her. A few episodes later, this character's pain deepened. I can relate to that. While my wounds are deep, they are old. Nearly as old as I am. However, I feel like they've never fully healed because the person who inflicted them continues to pick at the raw edges regularly. So this character's brother says to him, in the midst of his pain and darkness, "the darkness doesn't have any answers."

 

Our society has this romantic notion that all the pain and suffering and wallowing is actually really beautiful and healing, that it's poetic and helpful. But it's not. It's just garbage and pain and suffering. What's poetic and helpful is LIFE. LIVING the life we have before us, appreciating the present, the beauty, and love NOW is what is healing.

 

So I'm going to let it all go and MOVE ON. I'm sure that from time to time I'll still be able to feel those old wounds, and that their causation will still pick at them but I will try to remember the life I have before me and beauty of my two wonderful little monsters, and love that my husband unconditional bestows upon me. He reminds me that we are two halves of a whole and that we make up for each others' short comings. He, and our children, is where my future lies.

 

That's not to say that things won't be difficult sometimes but the world doesn't have to revolve around pain. The past is part of who we are but as one of my favorite songs says when things get rough we'll just "take this sinking boat and point it home, we've still got time..."

 

Let's move on.