Food for thought

I've been reading The Heart of the Matter by Emily Giffin (who I love!) and was struck by the following passage:

"... all women compare lives. We are aware of whose husband works more, who helps more around the house, who makes more money, who is having more sex. We compare our children, taking note of who is sleeping through the night, eating their vegetables, minding their manners, getting into the right schools We know who keeps the best house, throws the best parties, cooks the best meals, has the best tennis game. We know who among us is the smartest, has the fewest lines around her eyes, has the  best figure--whether naturally or artificially. We are aware of who works full-time, who stays at home with the kids, who manages to do it all and make it look easy, who shops and lunches while the nanny does it all. We digest it all and then discuss with our friends. Comparing and then confiding; it is what women do.
"The difference, I think, lies in why we do it. Are we doing it to gauge our own life and reassure ourselves that we fall within the realm of normal? Or are we being competitive, relishing others' shortcomings so that we can win, if only by default?"

I have never really thought of myself as a gossip, in actuality I strive to NOT gossip. But, as a woman who has (like most) struggled with my self esteem over the years, I must admit that I do take note of many of the things listed above about women I meet.

So, I wonder why we do it. Are we (me in particular) so self conscious that we are truly constantly comparing ourselves to other women and other mothers hoping that we fall somewhere above the middle, ideally at the top? And if we are really comparing ourselves, what has happened to each of us over our life span that has removed our ability to just be who we are and love that girl, including all of our short comings, however big or small? Are we comparing so that we may pass judgement on someone else's decisions and lifestyle choices?

Its interesting that one of my "beach reads" can be suddenly so thought provoking. But, I'm going to make an effort to quit comparing myself to other mommies and just be satisfied with the job I'm doing, the very best I can each day.


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